Warning: This article is for dudes only. Sorry ladies.
“Be a man.”
“Don’t be such a p***y.”
“Are you counting your calories, princess?”
“You can’t eat what your food eats!”
These are all things that have been repeated to you (and me) over and over and over again every time you even slightly hint that you are trying to lose weight, or God forbid, order a salad.
“Come on bro, don’t order that salad unless you want to get skinny like a little bitch?”
Trust Me, I Know
When I was in college, I competed in Olympic Weightlifting. I was on a team with 12 other guys that trained 5 days per weeks, 2-3 hours per day, to do one thing: Lift Heavy Weights. Period.
Here’s a picture of me at 22. Yes, I’m losing my hair already. Let’s not make it a big deal. I’m totally over it.
To say that me and my friends were meatheads is the understatement of the century. Between the 12 of us, there was enough testosterone in my college house at any given moment to disqualify everyone athlete at the Olympics and the people in the stands.
We had a saying in our house, “If you want to lift weight like a man, you must eat like a man.”
But even though this made us all feel cool and manly, we all ate the same exact way to not upset the balance of the house. No one wanted to be the house “pussy” who ate salad or counted calories. We all had different bodies, different needs, and different wants, yet no one was brave enough to go against the group.
If the steak and pasta diet didn’t work for you, it was because you were slacking in the gym. It nothing to do with the steak or pasta.
“Be a Man”
Every guy wants to be a MAN.
Who lifts heavy weights.
Takes his shirt off at the beach and everyone stares.
Fucks hot chicks or has an insanely hot wife.
Drinks 10 beers whenever he wants.
Never bitches. Never moans.
Who is the mystical human being? If I had to guess, it’s probably Brad Pitt as Achilles in the movie in the movie Troy.
Oh yea, that’s right, that’s based on Greek Mythology.
Even though that what you want to be, most of the guys you know, love some traditionally “female” things like cook, buy nice clothes, or have the nicest shoes, or even clean. GASP.
(I am guilty of all of all of these things.)
The pressure of being a “man” is very real and confusing, especially when it comes to the way you eat and they way you see yourself.
Even though you’ve sold yourself on the lie that “you don’t care about how you look.”
The truth is, you:
Really care about the way you look, especially in the mirror.
Hate the way you look in you suits (except the you stretched out and wear all the time).
Are tentative about having sex because you don’t feel like those crazy urges you used to because you don’t want to take off your clothes.
Are scared of the scale.
Are scared to admit that you hate your body.
Make fun of your belly to hide the fact that it really upset the shit out of you.
You’re a dude, you don’t have body image issues. Case closed, right?
Hahahahahaha. Good One.
Yea, yea you do. You know why? Because you are HUMAN.
I know, I know - you don’t want to talk about this. Guess what, no one wants to talk about this. But that’s exactly why you need to talk about it.
Body Image is the way you see and think about your body.
When you think of your body, what’s the first thing that pops into your brain?
- “Fat Slob.”
- “Used to be good.”
- “Used to be strong.”
- “I don’t want to talk about it”
- “Me and my body are on a break”
- “It’s complicated.”
Whether you realize it or not, this REALLY matters. It matters a lot.
The way you feel about your body and the specific words you use to describe it are a direct reflection of how you feel deep, deep, deep down about yourself.
Even though it seems like light hearted funny jokes, this plays a very big role in your psyche and will prohibit you from enjoying some of the best things life has to offer.
If you talk shit about yourself to yourself, how do you think those words affect your confidence?
How do you think it affects you when you go to approach that woman at a bar? How do you think it affects you when you go to have sex with your wife or girlfriend? How do you think it affects you when you go to ask your boss for that raise?
Do you think it plays a big role?
If you answered yes, you’d be correct.
Your actions have a direct correlation to how you feel about yourself.
If you feel good about yourself, you will do good things. If you feel like shit about yourself, you will do sabotaging things.
Think about that for a second.
Everytime you’ve been “on it” in your life, where was your confidence? Probably through the roof. And because of that, you did more and more good stuff, which made you feel better and better about yourself.
If you feel good about yourself, you are likely to exercise more.
If you feel good about yourself, you are likely to eat more healthy.
If you feel good about yourself, you are more likely to perform better at work and make more money.
If you feel good about yourself, you are more likely to go on more dates, have more sex, and have more meaningful relationships.
If you feel like crap about yourself, you are likely to workout inconsistenly.
If you feel like crap about yourself, you are likely to binge eat.
If you feel like crap about yourself, you are likely to perform worse at work, not get promoted, and stay in the exact same place.
If you feel like crap about yourself, you are more likely to go on LESS dates, have LESS sex, and have meaningless and flighty relationships.
Get to the Point Already
The point is simple: your definition of masculinity can be holding you back in a big way from the transformation that you need. A redefinition is in order.
Your current definition of masculinity will lead you diet and lose 10-15 pounds and then put it back on in 3 months. Lather, rinse, repeat.
When you redefine masculinity, you will lose 20+ pounds, lose 10% or more of body fat, dropping your pants size by 4 inches, and gain confidence of James Bond, and never, ever look back.
This redefinition will make your transformation real, lasting, meaningful and will literally open the door to the best body and most confidence you’ve ever had. You won’t fear foods like pizza or doughnuts or worry that a night drinking beer or scotch will show up on your waistline the next day.
More importantly, you won’t walk into a crowded room full of attractive people and feel like you want to hide or go home.
You will stand grounded, confident, and proud of the man you are because you understand what that really means.
As author Lewis Howes says in the book, The Mask of Masculinity:
“Masculinity is not about being the biggest, the fastest, the strongest, the one who sleeps with the most girls, and the one who has the most money. The one who has the most accomplishments is not the most masculine. In fact, it is often the men who covet these things most who are covering and compensating for the greatest insecurities. Let us revere the one who loves others deeply, loves himself deeply, and has a dream that he is inspired to live with and by and through. He is a man.”
Which masculinity will you choose?
The choice is yours.