Man stress eating doughnut

Do Men REALLY Emotionally Eat?

​For a long time, I was under the impression that guys didn’t emotionally eat….  That’s something girls do, NOT guys. 

Neither I nor any of my boys hid in the bathroom with a pizza, eating and crying to get over a breakup.

HOLY SHIT was I wrong.

Emotional eating is NOT just crying over a breakup and spraying whip cream into your mouth.  

That’s a very TV definition of emotional eating and it’s VERY misguided.     

Emotional eating is ANYTIME you use food to soothe your feelings.  

  • Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your morning at work and grabbed a third slice of pizza at lunch?
  • Have you ever gotten into a fight with your wife or girlfriend and instead of punching a wall, you went to McDonalds and ordered a Double Quarter Pounder with fries and a coke?
  • Have you ever hated your boss so much that you come home and take it out on ice cream?

These are all instances of emotional eating.  

And emotional eating is NOT as obvious as you think.  

Emotional eating feels like your job, your kids, your business, and family are getting in the way of eating healthy.  

It feels like you are just “too busy to worry about eating healthy”, or you “don’t have enough time to prepare ALL your meals”, or that your “kids just have crazy schedules for you to worry about anything but surviving.”

These are REALLY very subtle ways of saying “food is the only place where I have control in my life, please don’t take it away from me!” 

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Overweight man grabbing his stomach

The Worst Part of Losing, Then Regaining Weight

​You go on a diet. 

You lose 20, 30, 40, or 50 pounds.

Maybe you even lose 100 pounds.

And you feel……….. INCREDIBLE.

You feel light on your feet.

You’re wearing clothes you haven’t worn in years.

You’ve had to buy not one, but TWO smaller belts.  

You feel muscles you never thought you could have. 

Everything is just EASIER.  

It has never felt this good to be you. 

But after a few weeks, the novelty wears off. You have no more weight to lose.

And something weird happens:

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man looking into a fridge

The REAL Reason You Can’t Stop Eating at Night

You are up early.

You work a long day.

You put out fires. 

You pick up your kids.

You make dinner.

You coach basketball.

You get home and you just want 30 minutes to yourself to chill out.  

So you grab a bag of chips, plop on the couch, and turn on a good show.  

(Personally, I’m in the middle of Jack Ryan right now.)

You roll the rubberband off and instantly your dog appears. (Somehow they can hear the crinkle of any bag from a mile away.)  

As you melt into the couch and start to chomp on the salty, savory goodness of your favorite Sour Cream and Onion potato chips, you start to feel….. relaxed.

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magic weight loss pill

The MAGIC PILL of Weight Loss (I’m definitely lying)

Everyday, I post on Instagram and Facebook.

And every FUCKING day, people comment with some crap like this:

  • "It’s all about Calories In- Calories Out."
  • "It's all about being healthy."
  • "It’s all about eating well, moving frequently, and sleeping."
  • "It's not about self control and it's not about allowing yourself foods you want. People have been able to not be obese for 100’s of years without counting calories for a reason."

(INSERT SARCASM) THANKS GUYS! THIS MUST BE THE MAGIC PILL I’VE BEEN MISSING ALL ALONG.

Borat saying "NOT"

It’s easy to think that one more piece of information will make THE difference. Or a new scientific discovery will allow you to eat as many cookies as you want all day long and have a six pack. Or you just have to eat less calories than you burn.

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Do You Play The Calorie Game?

"Hmmm, well if I save 200 cals now, I can have the extra 200 calories at dinner when I go out later, which means I can have ¼ of dessert. Yes! Better than no dessert!"

"I’ll have the glazed doughnut, even though I want the Cruller, because it saves me 153 cals."

"If I skip my 200 cal snack and walk an extra 2,000 steps, that’s 300 cals per day!! If I do that all week, that’s ½ pound!! Yea baby, progress!"

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