Ron Swanson Posing as a Boxer

Real Men Don’t Diet

Warning: This article is for dudes only. Sorry ladies.

“Man up.”

“Be a man.”

“Don’t be such a p***y.”

“Are you counting your calories, princess?”

“You can’t eat what your food eats!”

These are all things that have been repeated to you (and me) over and over and over again every time you even slightly hint that you are trying to lose weight, or God forbid, order a salad.

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Pizza on a dark table

The 4 Types of Dieters

The Dieting Trap & the 4 Types of Dieters

It always seems to happen in an instant, you bend over to tie your shoe and you have to hold your breath. You put on your “loose jeans” and they no longer need a belt. A Facebook memory pops up and you see a picture of yourself from 2 years ago and think “Holy Shit, I don’t look like that anymore.” Your kid pokes at your belly and says, “Daddy or Mommy has a belly.”

“Holy Shit. I gotta get my fat ass in shape.”

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Is Willpower A Dumb Nutrition Concept?

Sometimes, work just sucks.

You work on a project that completely messes everything up:

  • Your quality time (aka QT) with your wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend.
  • Your healthy eating.
  • Your gym time.

The stress just piles on higher and higher as the day goes by and it seems to be so overwhelming, you gotta stop and take a break.

You walk or drive to the closest Starbucks to grab a quick coffee and clear your head for 5 minutes. You see something that catches your eye.

“The White Hot Chocolate. Hmmm…. What’s that? That sounds like it would really help the stress.”

You order it and it’s delicious. And it’s a hot chocolate, how bad could it be?

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Are KIND Bars Black Tie Candy?

I’m just gonna say it - Kind Bars are not healthy.

They aren’t.

I get it though. They contain nuts and fruit (and sometimes chocolate), they’re a source of protein and antioxidants, they’re low in sodium and have zero trans fats. Plus, they say “healthy” on the label.

The FDA apparently has a problem with that last part.

The Food and Drug Agency sent a warning letter in March 2015 to Kind informing it that four of its products — Fruit & Nut Almond & Apricot, Fruit & Nut Almond & Coconut, Plus Peanut Butter Dark Chocolate + Protein and Fruit & Nut Dark Chocolate Cherry Cashew — “do not meet the requirements for use of the nutrient content claim ‘healthy’ on a food label.”

If the FDA, who are usually the last people to figure anything out, say that it isn’t healthy, then I definitely know something is up.

Here’s the truth. Kind Bars are dressed up candy bars.

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I Used to be a Diet Whore

When Paleo became popular. I tried it.

When everyone and their mother was doing Atkins. I did it.

When Eating Clean was the thing. I embraced it.

  • Each time, I paid money.
    Each time, I tried the diet. 
    Each time I put the weight back on.

I started feeling used.

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